Are You A Survivor?

Good afternoon. It's been a frigid week in Tulsa with temps
dropping from the balmy 50's on Sunday to teeth chattering teens
on Monday. Yeesh! Not fun considering I have been driving around
in a car without a heater for two years. It's one of those
expenses you tend to forget about until you realize you're
freezing your butt off again. After our frigid Monday, I made
sure to get the car fixed yesterday. Now I'm all toasty and
feeling happy again!

Of course, not having a car to get to the office, I worked from
home and realized that most of my "stuff" was in my downtown
office. So I spent the day catching up on processes and people.
As I've said over the past few weeks, I tend to get very
introspective this time of year, so having some time to myself
was good. I asked myself where I've been and where I'm going. One
thing was clear: I'm definitely in survival mode.

What amazes me is how many people I know who don't know how to
survive during tough times. It's like they are walking through
life and suddenly come across a brick wall blocking their little
nature walk. And then they stand there, trying to look over it or
around the sides, and then they just stand there, idly waiting
for the wall to be broken down by someone else.

After a while they may cry or whine about the wall, but then
they just become complacent, accepting of the situation, and just
sit down and camp out by the wall. Waiting. Hopelessly waiting
for something to change. Waiting. Slowly dying.

Is that you?

Has something changed in your life this year: job, money,
relationship, faith - something big - and now you are facing
something you don't feel prepared for? You're stuck. You've
fallen and you can't get up?

I understand this reaction. Shock. Fear. Feeling of overall
helplessness. Anxiety. Worry. Concern. Clueless on how to move
forward because, after all, there is this huge freaking wall in
front of you.

A therapist once told me she was fascinated by the way I lived
because I have this tendency to find myself on a precipice but
rather than look down and worry about falling, I tend to look up
and leap upwards. Frankly, I was too close to my issues at the
time -- a love relationship gone bad -- but once the therapist
made this statement and then reviewed anecdotes with me I had
shared of various turbulent times I had faced, I realized she was
right. Despite my frequent bemoaning of my fate (the sky is
falling), I was and am undoubtedly a survivor.

Here's some survival tactics I use when faced with difficult or
painful life-turning events:

1. Accept the worst that can happen, and then try to make things
better. This is an over-simplification of something I learned
while teaching the Dale Carnegie Course in Human Relations over
20 years ago, but I dare say it works! If you can truly accept
the inevitable -- job loss, financial loss, love loss -- then it
is easier to clear your mind and begin thinking of ways to
improve the odds in your favor, and as they say, make lemons into
lemonade.

2. Remember the power of prayer. I know for some this is a
stretch. It was for me. Raised as a Jew to the age of 13, then
turning away from God from the age of 13 through 45, and then
finally understanding there had to be something bigger than
myself and the world I lived in -- well, it took half a lifetime
to get there. I regret not understanding my place in the universe
sooner. Prayer is vital to my well-being and the well-being of
those around me. Try it. You'll like it. And remember He loves you
as a Father loves a child. He listens. And He responds.

3. Count your blessings. It is easy to forget the good things
about yourself and the good things (and people) in your life.
When tragedy strikes, it is easy to get lost in your emotion and
anxiety and worry. Guess what. The world will go on,
whether you want it to or not. But if you remember your good
qualities and the good people around you, you can turn your
attitude around and survive anything. Write these down and
re-read them often. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve it!

4. Learn to pole vault. Just because a wall drops down in your
path and seems insurmountable does not mean it is so. Some walls
are easily broken, but when you can't break it down, leap over
it. Look for new opportunities. Be clever and creative. Seek the
help of others if you get stuck. Learn to scale walls.

5. Determine your strengths. If you have been working the same
job or in the same industry for a long time, or have been a
mother or wife or care-giver for decades, when changes occur
through job loss or marital problems or death of a loved one, we
tend to get stuck because the comfortable role we have played for
so long has been threatened. Draw a circle and list ALL of your
strengths. Then draw lines like the spokes of a wheel around the
circle and start listing various ways you can apply those
strengths to improve your position. Focus on what makes you truly
happy. You'll be surprised what you discover.

I've been trading emails with many of my subscribers lately. I'm
bordering around 3000 subscribers across all of my lists now, but
I try to make personal time to respond to each of you. If you are
battling something and need a person to share that battle with
during this normally happy season, send me an email at
info@schneiderman.net. It would be a blessing to me to share our
lives with each other. We will both be stronger for it.

Final word: I'm raising my rates January 1st by 25%. Starting in
the new year, my hourly rate will be $200.00/hour for web and
graphic design, copywriting, related marketing services and
coaching. If you've thought about leaping upwards rather than
fall down, and need some help along the way, I'd like to assist
you however I can. Drop me a line before the end of the year to
discuss your needs and challenges, and I'll grandfather any work
you need in 2010 at the existing rate of $150.00/hour.

Until next time,

Steven

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Schneiderman Marketing, LLC, 1811 South Baltimore, Suite 203, Tulsa, OK 74119, United States