Finding Your Sweet Spot

How are you, my friend? I hope this email finds you and yours
well. Last time I wrote to you, I talked about planning for 2010
and I asked what you were going to do differently next year. Have
you given that serious consideration, and if so, please write
back to me at info@schneiderman.net to share those plans with me.

You know life happens -- it goes on around us whether we engage
life or not. So many people I meet are down-trodden and beat.
They are walking through life like zombies. In fact, I watched
Night of the Living Dead this weekend for Halloween with my wife
and son, and those zombies looked a lot like people I know. Empty
stare. That strange gait in their walk. People just stuck in a
rut, not achieving what they set out to accomplish, trampled,
ruined financially -- spiritually, emotionally, mentally,
socially dead.

If that's you or you know someone that sounds like, then let me
tell you there is hope.

That hope does not come in the form of an instant get-rich-quick
scheme. It is not about quick fixes and band-aids. It's not about
day dreaming or fantasizing or even visions.

It starts with finding the sweet spot -- or spots -- as the case
may be. Let me explain.

What turns you on? How would you prefer to spend your time? What
makes you happy? These are very important questions that need to
be answered in each of our lives. When you are able to answer
these questions honestly, you will be on the right path to
finding your sweet spot.

For me, it's spending more time with my wife and children. I
realize I am happiest when we are together laughing and having a
good time. If I could do nothing more than play rummy or Trouble
with them all day long, I'd be happy and content. Life would be good
if we could play Monopoly all day while eating munchies. Walking
though the park holding hands and sharing smiles would be
ecstasy. Flying kites, riding bicycles, doing school projects,
helping them to study before a test, going to a jazz concert,
working at church. All of these things are what make me happy so long
as we are doing them together as a family.

Now this is very different from the Steve of 20+ years ago. Back
then, young and single, I spent all of my time working, trying to
make as much money as possible, working by day as a director of
marketing and working by night and weekends as a marketing
consultant. I lived for the almighty dollar. I was good at this
and acquired wealth over time.

But it sure was lonely. Money does whisper secrets to you. Money
doesn't smile at you. Money doesn't hold your hand. Money doesn't
dig holes in the backyard with spoons.

Years later, even after I was married and started to create a
family of my own, I still was a workaholic and hell bent on
acquiring wealth and dying with the most toys. I would bet there
are times when I still seem this way to my family. They
frequently remind me I spend too much time on the computer. Shame
on me.

I hear some of you saying, "But you are just trying to keep a
roof over your family's head." And I suppose some of that is
true. But at the end of the day I am a workaholic. And I need to
be more focused on finding the sweet spot.

For me the sweet spot is a place where I am focused on one thing
and one thing only: what makes me truly happy and satisfied. And
for me, that place is with my family. It's a place where I can
let down my guard and be myself, be accepted and loved, and not
worry about anything else.

Getting to the sweet spot is quite another matter. It means
understanding exactly what I need to survive -- not what I want
or wish for. It means settling -- perhaps working less, doing
with less wealth -- so I can spend more time with my family.

Now this is not unattainable for me or you. It requires a
strategic plan with detailed tactics you will need to follow to
get to your sweet spot and be happy. It means recognizing what
you need vs. what you want. It means settling. It means staying
focused on the end goal and not all the little things that get in
the way along the road to searching for and attaining your sweet
spot.

So for me, it means understanding exactly how much money I need
to pay my average monthly bills, and working just the right
number of billable hours to pay those bills. For years I thought
I needed to die with the most toys. But now I realize none of
that is truly important to me. After all, I can't take it with
me.

I am now focused on trying to fill a half day -- 4 billable
hours -- every day. This is actually a much more attainable and
realistic goal than what I first imagined. It leaves me time to
get involved in my kids' school and after-school activities, it
leaves me time for the occasional lunch with my wife, a chance to
be involved with my church and community, and a chance to
breathe, relax and enjoy my family.

So there you have it: that's my sweet spot and my plan for 2010.

What's your sweet spot and what's your plan?

Do you need help figuring any of this stuff out and making it
happen? Maybe I can help. Email me at info@schneiderman.net.

Next time we'll talk about tactics ...

All my best,

Steven

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