Monday, April 20, 2009

Ruts

Good morning, friends, and I hope you are well. This
weekend I actually had some "ME" time and joined a group of
men for a brief retreat at the Post Oak Lodge here in Tulsa.
It was a nice morning to take a walk by yourself in the
woods, find a place to sit, read and journal. It was very
refreshing, and really made me realize how important that
"ME" time is. I'm sure I am like a lot of you. I get so
caught up in the day-to-day, trying to keep the wheel
turning, that I lose track of "ME" and my own needs.

Later when the men regrouped, one of the guys mentioned how
he's come to realize how much he hates his job. He suddenly
became aware of how the second he's alone with somebody he
starts ranting about how much he hates traveling in his job
and how it keeps him apart from his wife and kids. I know
this is something all of us can relate to.

Back in 1997 I was traveling quite a bit with my company,
WorldCom. I was gone almost every other week. My wife had
just given birth to my daughter, and I was off the day she
arrived home with the baby. One day after a business trip I
arrived home, pulled into the garage, and opened the door to
my house. There was my 3 month old daughter sitting in her
high-chair facing the door. My wife thought it would be a
fun way to greet me. I smiled.

And then my daughter screamed a blood-curdling scream
because she did not recognize me.

I tried to pick her up and calm her down but she was
scared. So she's screaming and I started crying. I felt
terrible. My own daughter did not even know me. I made a
decision right then and there to slow down my traveling and
stop it as soon as I could. I stopped showing up for major
meetings in other cities, and eventually I was told that my
desire to stay home was going to cost me visibility and
promotions. So be it.

As a consultant, travel is sometimes required by your
clients. From 2006-2008 I spent almost every other week
driving from Tulsa to Topeka and I hated every minute of
it. The wear and tear on my car was nothing in comparison
to the wear and tear on my wife and kids. I walked away
from a $6K monthly retainer to stay home last May. The
client didn't understand, but sometimes your priorities
shift, and you have to make tough decisions, even when they
hit you in the pocket.

I am rambling about this because when my friend at the
retreat mentioned about how he only recently became aware
of how much he hates his job because he finds himself
talking about it all the time, it made me wonder about what
I find myself talking about all the time.

I guess for me, it's concerns about the past and the
future. I've mentioned before I've had an unusual life in
that I've been held up at gunpoint 4 times, gun to head.
I've also had 5 car accidents where I should have died but
didn't. In fact, I've always walked away relatively
unscathed. So for me, the big question is why have I been
spared so many times? There's got to be a reason I'm still
around, and that tends to eat away at me. I tend to second
guess myself a lot wondering if I am doing what I am
supposed to be doing. Am I adding value to other peoples'
lives?

But there's not much you can do about the past, and I know
I have to stop thinking about it. But then there's future
concerns: money, health, education, home, etc. The economy
is spiraling out of control, and I'm afraid me with it. As
a consultant, I see more and more small to mid-sized
companies holding on to their cash. Marketing is about the
last thing they think about. So naturally, I'm concerned
about the welfare of my family.

Now to the point.

If you find yourself talking about -- or complaining about
-- the same things over and over again to your friends and
family, then it's probably time you stopped.

In some cases there are actions you can take to stop
whining and effect change in your life. Sometimes that
starts with working on character and fortitude -- internal
changes, and other times it has to do with finding a new
job or downsizing your household -- external things.

I strongly recommend you take some "ME" time in the next
week and consider what you are ranting about to your
friends and family, and then try to create a plan to get
yourself out of the rut you may be in. A little prayer
might also be helpful ;)

So what's all this got to do with marketing, eh?

This week -- not much.

I'm working on trying to launch a few new client sites,
meeting some new prospects, and trying to figure out how to
reduce expenditures wherever I can. I'm also taking a
personal inventory of strengths and weaknesses, and looking
where I can leverage gifts and experience and also address
blind spots. I'll work on updating my own web site and
review where I need to focus my time for the second quarter
to survive.

I'd be pleased to chat with you about your own marketing
efforts and any challenges you may be experiencing. Let me
see if I can provide some feedback for you. I think that's
one of the reasons I'm here. So take advantage of it.

Until next time,


Steven

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